As a son of two Marines and a brother to an active-duty Marine, I shared my personal journey during the panel. Growing up in a military family, I was groomed for service. However, the enactment of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" in 1996 made me realize the impossibility of serving with integrity while having to conceal my authentic self. This realization spotlighted the broader issue of how our military structures, steeped in a culture that often promotes toxic masculinity, fail to protect and respect the dignity of LGBTQ+ individuals. In fact, the military has yet to do anything honoring the service of queer people, who have been serving (whether openly or not) since the military began.

Looking Forward

These conferences serve as a powerful reminder of the work that remains in dismantling barriers and ensuring that LGBTQ+ individuals can serve openly and safely in all capacities. They underscore the need for ongoing dialogue and reform to address the cultural structures that undermine unity and cohesion within our armed forces.

As we continue to advocate for these changes, we celebrate the courage of those who have served in silence and those who speak out to make the military a more inclusive environment. Our efforts honor their service and pave the way for future generations to serve authentically and without compromise.

If you are an LGBTQ+ veteran of the military and want to tell us more about your experience, or learn more about the Restoration of Honor act for anyone dishonorably discharged, please reach out to us at info@capitalpridecenter.org.

Diverse Voices, Shared Experiences

Julie Grey-Owens, Executive Director of Gender Equality New York, shared insights on challenging toxic masculinity and homophobia within traditionally male-dominated environments like the military and law enforcement. Her expertise highlighted the critical need for training and reform to create safer, more inclusive spaces.

Personal Reflections on Service and Identity

Last week, I had the honor of participating in two significant conferences organized by the Department of Veterans Services for the State of New York, focused on Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) in Veteran Affairs. These events, held at the Fordham Law Library in New York City and the Albany Law School Auditorium, brought together veterans, advocates, and community leaders to address the pressing issues facing LGBTQ+ service members, veterans, and their families.

A Platform for Change

The conferences opened dialogues about the lingering effects of policies like "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," which forced many, like one of our fellow panelists, a lesbian army veteran, to hide their true selves for the majority of her 28-year career. Her moving account detailed the personal and professional turmoil of attending social military functions without her partner, illustrating the profound impact of such exclusionary policies on individuals' lives, sense of belonging, and their mental health.

Advocating for LGBTQ+ Inclusion in Veteran Services